i saw a billboard with an old lady on it, and the caption below said "former nfl linebacker" then below that it said "don't have someone else's funeral" i have no idea what that means. do funeral homes just make up information about you if you can't afford to pay them? "we'll throw her old ass in the ground, but we're making up a life for her. we don't have time to listen to her story ...and don't even think about a tombstone. she's getting the ol' standard - 'here lies a human'" is it just an insurance company trying to scare you? "save up and have the funeral of your dreams!" what does "don't have someone else's funeral" mean? and why is it so bad? regardless of what that lady did in life, playing linebacker professionally is infinitely more interesting than whatever it was that she really did. "your grandmother's head stone says 'beloved mother and friend.' she was good at bridge? well my grandmother led the league in tackles for two seasons. do i know if that's true? they said it at her funeral." of course have someone else's funeral. i don't mind if they get my entire life wrong. if someone would like to write a book about my life, go nuts. base it as loosely as possible on the true story. have me climbing mountains, rescuing people non-stop, acquiring a hefty key to the city collection, frenching ladies relentlessly, whatever you want. i don't mind if the only true part is my name. i just hope your penniless grandmother doesn't steal my life at her funeral.