Picaresqimos Ch. 1

...found jani tapping her fingers. not because she wanted to, or was nervous. she simply thought it might make her look more interesting. toddi looked across the table with cheeks puffed (she always looked ridiculous when she smoked. the act made jani think of a child trying to hold their breath and then failing terribly) and dramatically released the smoke like miners fleeing a cave-in. "well, it's easy for you to do. your boobs are all like similar and what not." jani tried not to look at toddi's oddly mis-shaped left breast. righty was proudly displayed and somewhat pushed up to accent the volume. she never accounted for the difference in size, and lefty was left to roam around the bra like a field mouse on the prairie. jani masked her laughter by pretending to pretentiously respond. "it has nothing to do with boob size. you're just going to the wrong spots." more miners fleeing. "like where? i go to the bar. mitchy bingum told me my legs look like giraffes trying to kiss." the laughter was harder to mask. jani pretended to sneeze. "well, he's a drunk idiot. that's what you find at the bar." "i go to the post office. i go to the gym. no one even looks at me." toddi took a long drag from her cigarette. her eyebrows furrowed, trying to meet at her nostrils. "you need to go to the grocery store." the cheeks made jani think of the skin on a frog's neck. "i go all the time. the check out girl always says she can't believe i'm not even fatter. men don't want to talk to a gal with itch cream and a limp." "no. they don't. but you can trick them into talking to you while you're standing ...and you can buy itch cream online." toddi mashed the cigarette with unnecessary force. "...how?" jani took her hand. "just wait in line with like a cucumber and some wine. someone will say something"...