david

Expressions

how does an expression become an expression? do you just have to say it enough until it catches on? “well, you know, god isn’t always naked”, “deaf dogs don’t bite”, “a mime in a jar isn’t always a hemophiliac”. it clearly doesn’t have to make any sense. does it have to be recognized by some …

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James Madison

james madison was the fourth president of the united states. he was one of the framers of the constitution. he had a sexy wife named dolley. he was 5’4″ and 100lbs., and he owned slaves. five-feet four inches tall, one-hundred pounds …and he owned slaves. those must have been the happiest slaves that ever lived. …

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Retarded

a lot of people use the term ‘retarded’ to describe things. even though it may be offensive to people with challenged children, it is technically and grammatically correct. if you reach for something and your sweater catches on a nail and keeps you from reaching it, the nail retarded you. you were retarded by the …

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Time Machine

i guess they haven’t designed a time machine in the future. i have an unspoken agreement with myself that when they do, the first thing i do with mine is race back to this time period and fist fight myself. i have not been punched in the face by my self from the future, so …

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