God Comma Damnit
if it’s true that god doesn’t enjoy people taking his name in vain, then my family is in for a talking to. but i really don’t see how saying, “god, damn it.” is in vain. with that sweet comma there, you’re just addressing god and kindly asking him to damn something. who better to do …
2012
that’s right, earthlings. we are all going to die on december 21st, 2012. merlin the wizard predicted it and so did the mayans. i’m inclined to believe the mayans. they seemed to have their act together. any prognostication of impending doom foreseen by religious types always seems ridiculous (don’t think we didn’t notice the lack …
Rabbits’ Feet
it’s odd what lengths people will go to for good luck. like carrying around the foot of a cute little dead rabbit. which they’ve have been doing since 600 b.c.. people stopped believing in mythology and yet still believe in rabbits’ feet. supposedly it’s a symbol of fertility because rabbit’s coitus each other so much. …
Inbred Man Cures Cancer!
Alexander Fritzl (left) pictured with his brother Amadeus Fritzl has reportedly discovered the cure for cancer and will be awarded the Nobel Prize. Alexander has been working on the cure for the better part of his life and said, “I knew this was possible. I’m so happy” -A.P. 2008 is this a headline you would …
World’s Greatest Grandpa
i’m sure by now everyone has heard the story of the austrian guy who locked his daughter in a dungeon-like basement for 24 years and fathered six children with her…thus eliminating himself from contention in the world’s best grandpa and world’s best dad competition in one fell swoop. he locked her down there when she …