Anti-American
this is america. you can replace the period after that sentence with an exclamation point if you’d like. this is america, and so is canada. so is mexico, and costa rica, and brazil and argentina. the americas. north central and south. and yet we are the only ones who call ourselves americans. the americas – …
Super Elrod
earth is blowing up, and you are sent to another planet where the inhabitants are called ‘elrods’. elrods can be shot and killed with marshmallows. their top speed is a brisk walk. they can’t jump over a phone book, and falling into even the shallowest of ditches is catastrophic. but you are still you. you …
cpomehrnseoin
ptrety wlid taht you can raed tihs, rgiht? tehy say taht if the frsit and lsat ltertes are in the rgiht pacle, and the nmuber of ltetres are aslo crorcet, tehn inpxlaiclbey flkos are albe to raed it. i’m not bniuyg it tohugh. who’s wtih me?
Double Negative
people are quick to bring up my negativity, but they seem to always forget my unwavering pessimism. i wish the world would come to an end – a pretty negative thought. but i’m pessimistic that will happen anytime soon …despite our best efforts. instead, you’ll have to live through countless atrocities and watch everyone close …