the idea of live and let live is ridiculous. if one of your loved ones is doing something that worries you or scares you, you're not going to be able to just ignore it and live for yourself. no one has ever done that. "oh, is jeff shooting heroine into his penis again? good for him. dinner in ten." never. humans worry about people. having a relative who is going senile sucks, but it's probably pretty sweet for them. forgetting all your worst memories as you coast through a smooth transition into the great beyond - senility is nature's anesthetic, but it makes everyone else sad so the senile person can't possibly be happy. "she doesn't remember anyone. she forgets things. she has no recollection of grandpa passing. it's just so sad! how can she be happy? we were hoping she would struggle along for years and years, coherent and aware while her body slowly disintegrated around her minute by minute." next time grandma forgets your name, maybe instead of choking back tears, try congratulating her with a high five.
Less Fortunate Jerks
i was at a comedy show in a crappy bar once, and a girl was on stage telling some jokes when two older blind fellows approached the stage, canes in hand, and started heckling her. they said the typical, "take it off" and what have you, and no one said anything. one - what did they expect to see if she did take it off? and two - why is that okay? "oh, they're blind. let them be." it's okay to be a jerk if life hasn't been so kind to you? "his dad beat him ...she doesn't have an arm ...most of his skin was burned off." that doesn't make it acceptable for you to act like an ass. if i had stopped the two blind fellas (i didn't because i thought a comedian should be able to handle blind hecklers ...and i thought they might hit me with their canes) i would have been the jerk. "look at him yelling at blind people. let them rape her for god's sake." when i was in high school, there was this challenged individual in my gym class. everyone was cool to him. there was no harassing, and it was surprisingly civil considering the nature of kids. oddly, he wasn't the coolest dude ever though. when we played baseball, if he was tagged out (as he often was) he would sometimes grab your arm and dig all three of his fingernails into it. or kick you in the shins - which was equally pleasant. now, in his defense, maybe genetically during the gene splicing some of the rna got a little lazy and rendered the decision making part of his brain a little huffy. so he's genetically incapable of being a good sport? that's a great excuse, but why can't we all use that? who's to say you are not geneticall predisposed to do everything you do? "did you just cut in front of me?" "genetic." then off you go.
Flip Flops
i have had this discussion on more than one occasion. why are people always attacking flip flops on dudes? you don't want to see their feet? that's fair, but mostly people who are against flip flops don't like them because they are in some way effeminate. that's absurd. cave people used to wear no shoes. tribal folks did the same thing. they traveled miles per day barefoot until their feet developed a thick soul that worked almost like a shoe. but some people didn't have tough feet, so they invented sandals. sissies. everyone laughed at them and called them queer. ridiculed them. but then down the road, even sandals weren't protective enough. some people needed something with even more coverage, so boots and other closed toed shoes were invented. so, how is that tougher than sandals? "you're wearing sandals, you sissy? not me. i've got boots. steel toed boots in case i come across a rock or something my little footsies can't handle. i wear insoles. man insoles. like a fluffy cloud, or a stack of bunnies if you will, for my precious little feeties." it's not like there are guys in flip flops out there erecting skyscrapers or hanging drywall, but shouldn't they be allowed to relax in something other than boots when they get home? you work hard all day, come home, slip on your sandals to get the mail, "fag! that dudes wearing flip flops." let a guy wear comfortable shoes.
Can’t Complain
"what the hell's he complaining about? he's rich!" what does that have to do with it? you can only complain if you're entitled? if you're poor? or ugly? if your life is going so poorly that by all accounts, you have every right to bellow about it - then you can complain? absolutely not. that's unfair. everyone should have the right. who is ruled out? the guy on the hill, with the biggest mansion, and a full head of hair, and the prettiest wife and smartest kids? maybe people constantly try to kidnap his kids. he can't complain about that? he can't complain because the guy with the smaller mansion has it worse? the guy below him has no hair. the guy in the duplex would love the mansion. the homeless guy would love the duplex. the homeless guy with no teeth would love to chew food. the homeless guy with no teeth and no legs would love to walk. the legless, toothless, homeless guy with uncontrollable bowels would love to have a day with clean pants. the legless, toothless, poopy-pantsed bum would love to not be a woman trapped in a man's body. the starving, african, toothless, homeless ...and so on. so, unless you're a toothless, legless, homeless african woman in a man's body with uncontrollable bowels and perhaps aids or another life-threatening disease, you can't comlain? that's absurd. mostly just don't complain to people who have it worse than you. a homeless, diabetic person doesn't want to hear about your coffee being too stale. i worked with a guy once who had no arms or legs. he was relentlessly positive, and all i could think the whole time was, "thank god i don't live with this guy. i could never complain." "god, i'm having the worst day. i have this knot in my back that i can't get to ...oh, right. no legs." i can't imagine anything worse. than not being able to complain.