Alexander Fritzl (left) pictured with his brother Amadeus Fritzl has reportedly discovered the cure for cancer and will be awarded the Nobel Prize. Alexander has been working on the cure for the better part of his life and said, “I knew this was possible. I’m so happy” -A.P. 2008 is this a headline you would …
i’m sure by now everyone has heard the story of the austrian guy who locked his daughter in a dungeon-like basement for 24 years and fathered six children with her…thus eliminating himself from contention in the world’s best grandpa and world’s best dad competition in one fell swoop. he locked her down there when she …
do you hang a horseshoe upside down or right-side up? does the shoe hold the good luck in or pour the bad luck out? you have to find the horseshoe for it to be lucky? and it has to be a shoe that was on a horse? that doesn’t sound real lucky for the person …
no one really knows why a horseshoe is lucky. some say they’re made of iron which keeps fairies from entering your home. one – who’s afraid of fairies? and two – horseshoes are made of steel these days, so who knows how many fairies might be confidently strutting around your house mocking your horseshoe. some …
i don’t know if zombies count as afterlife. i don’t know if you can become a zombie. your deceased corpse is reanimated. are you a part of it? or are you a lame ghost up above watching someone else control your body like a stolen car? maybe that’s why their motor skills are typically so …
vampires can’t see their own reflection in the mirror. that sucks. how is their appearance always so pristine? are vampires inherently tidy? does their hair comb itself? and what a terrible curse. immortality, so long as you avoid the sun, sticks, and silver stuff, and yet you can never see how kick ass and menacing …
why are vampires not a choice for reincarnation? only animals? weak. whales=sweet. bears=sweet. cobras=sick. even though, like a vampire, cobras can’t see themselves in the mirror. and snakes aren’t looked upon kindly. “destined to roam the earth on their belly” and so forth. like snakes are pussies. say that to a cobras face. the real …
is ghost an option in the afterlife? or is it a glitch? and if it is a choice, who chooses ghost? you have the opportunity to explore the great beyond, perhaps learn a little more about the entire dynamic of the universe, life and everything, and you choose to be a ghost? “i’d rather stick …
what would you do if they named a hurricane after you? would you root for it? i think you would. you don’t want to be associated with a lame hurricane. “hurricane mike limped into town today and pissed all over its feet.” especially if you’re a boxer. “in this corner – hurricane mike smith!” and …
this is america. you can replace the period after that sentence with an exclamation point if you’d like. this is america, and so is canada. so is mexico, and costa rica, and brazil and argentina. the americas. north central and south. and yet we are the only ones who call ourselves americans. the americas – …
