earth is blowing up, and you are sent to another planet where the inhabitants are called ‘elrods’. elrods can be shot and killed with marshmallows. their top speed is a brisk walk. they can’t jump over a phone book, and falling into even the shallowest of ditches is catastrophic. but you are still you. you …
ptrety wlid taht you can raed tihs, rgiht? tehy say taht if the frsit and lsat ltertes are in the rgiht pacle, and the nmuber of ltetres are aslo crorcet, tehn inpxlaiclbey flkos are albe to raed it. i’m not bniuyg it tohugh. who’s wtih me?
people are quick to bring up my negativity, but they seem to always forget my unwavering pessimism. i wish the world would come to an end – a pretty negative thought. but i’m pessimistic that will happen anytime soon …despite our best efforts. instead, you’ll have to live through countless atrocities and watch everyone close …
easter celebrates the resurrection of jesus of nazareth three days after his death. and what better way to celebrate than with an equally unbelievable story of a giant rabbit that roams around dropping decorative eggs in strategic locations around your yard. why a bunny? no one knows. kids dig it. someone coming back from the …
eskimos like to be called inuits. no one really knows that because eskimos aren’t really mad enough about it to do anything…other than make you feel like a bigot if you call them one. as long as there are eskimo pies, you are eskimos. no one who is really mad about a racial slur allows …
is it indian? or native american? indian sucks because columbus gave them that name after he thought he’d landed in the indies. landed in the wrong spot and still has the nerve to call them indians – what a jerk. “hi, i’m atzi. i’m an aztec.” “yeah, sure thing, indian. why don’t you be an …
shame on you, the masses. boo. boo sincerely. shame on you for buying everything you’re sold. thanks for the endless supply of talentless pop princesses and celebrity culture you’ve created. the books are being burned in the street, and you can’t even smell the flames as you sit in front of your t.v. with wide …
