jack kevorkian was re-introduced into the wild without a lot of fanfare. there should have been a welcome back party, maybe a parade, and an assisted suicide table ready and waiting. “the old people have somehow multiplied since you left, sir.” why was he not a national hero? that dude was good at suiciding old …
how does an expression become an expression? do you just have to say it enough until it catches on? “well, you know, god isn’t always naked”, “deaf dogs don’t bite”, “a mime in a jar isn’t always a hemophiliac”. it clearly doesn’t have to make any sense. does it have to be recognized by some …
james madison was the fourth president of the united states. he was one of the framers of the constitution. he had a sexy wife named dolley. he was 5’4″ and 100lbs., and he owned slaves. five-feet four inches tall, one-hundred pounds …and he owned slaves. those must have been the happiest slaves that ever lived. …
a lot of people use the term ‘retarded’ to describe things. even though it may be offensive to people with challenged children, it is technically and grammatically correct. if you reach for something and your sweater catches on a nail and keeps you from reaching it, the nail retarded you. you were retarded by the …
i guess they haven’t designed a time machine in the future. i have an unspoken agreement with myself that when they do, the first thing i do with mine is race back to this time period and fist fight myself. i have not been punched in the face by my self from the future, so …
why does everyone want to boycott these olympic games? just because china has dealings with corporations in darfur that perpetuate genocide? because they treat their workers like crap? that whole tibet thing? that is nonsense. the olympics are the perfect place to show china just how much they suck. “you think that’s funny china? stealing …
i teach tai chi i eat chai tea each tai i cheat i tai each eat
if it’s true that god doesn’t enjoy people taking his name in vain, then my family is in for a talking to. but i really don’t see how saying, “god, damn it.” is in vain. with that sweet comma there, you’re just addressing god and kindly asking him to damn something. who better to do …
that’s right, earthlings. we are all going to die on december 21st, 2012. merlin the wizard predicted it and so did the mayans. i’m inclined to believe the mayans. they seemed to have their act together. any prognostication of impending doom foreseen by religious types always seems ridiculous (don’t think we didn’t notice the lack …
it’s odd what lengths people will go to for good luck. like carrying around the foot of a cute little dead rabbit. which they’ve have been doing since 600 b.c.. people stopped believing in mythology and yet still believe in rabbits’ feet. supposedly it’s a symbol of fertility because rabbit’s coitus each other so much. …
