if you don't use twitter, please make sure you say, "i don't twit ...or twat ...or whatever it's called." how else would anyone possibly know that you are so isolated from the assimilating masses that you don't even know how to pronounce the very thing you are clearly unaware of? never mind that twitter is on the news constantly, always referenced in connection with current events, political discussions, used as a polling device, and said in general conversation very regularly. nope, you didn't hear any of it. you don't turn on your computer. you don't watch shows where tweets pop up in the bottom corner. you don't even read the newspaper and see a story that refers to someone creating some sort of incident via twitter and think, "huh ...twitter. wonder what that is." not good 'ol you. you live on the same planet as everyone, and yet you've managed to be completely oblivious to one of the more ubiquitous things in society. good for you. or maybe it's just that you like people to think that way about you. maybe you thought it was endearing when an older relative didn't know about a contemporary phenomenon, and you thought, "yeah, why the hell do i know about that dumb band meant for younger people? grandpa has it right. he does his own thing and isn't concerned with what everyone else is doing." or maybe he is. maybe he saw someone older than him do the same thing, and he thought that was a cool affectation. "i'll be the guy who guesses the name of popular things but never ...ever gets them right." and grandpa has just been faking it for years. they never just say, "i don't know what that is." it's always, "what is a 'flu fighter'? i don't care what a bernie baby is. words with what now? is that like scrabble?" ah, they are all so close. and that's key. there's a secret pride in getting it close enough to the word that people can guess it. "are you talking about facebook? is that why you keep saying you're not on fact bark?" "oh, that must be it, yes." right. i can see how you thought it might be fact bark. that term is thrown around nearly as much as the thing that has a billion members.