They’ve Done Studies

if you make a habit out of saying "they've done studies" in order to sound more intelligent and back up whatever point you're trying to convey, more often than not - the people you are talking to just think you're an idiot. which you probably are. which studies? make up a name if you have to "oh yeah, the hammerstein mcgregor sandwich study. you've never heard of it? well, that's why i keep a padlock on my lunchbox. yep, they did a study. people love to steal sandwiches. surprised you didn't know that. pretty sure it was back in the 60's." and those dolts who have the patience to converse with an imbecile such as yourself will be sufficiently fooled. "oh ...right, right, right. macgregor hammersmith you mean? it think that's what it was called. yeah, i've heard of that. that's a good idea with that padlock" the strange thing is that they do perform studies. all the time. and chances are, there may just be one close enough to support whatever ridiculous claim you're trying to make. "mice love wearing backpacks. they've done studies!" they should really do a study on how people are more inclined to believe you if you mention a study has been done - or better yet - multiple studies. they weren't satisfied with just that one study with beetles and cologne. now they have done several and wouldn't you know it, beetles wearing cologne get tons of ass. i think a writer would end this sort of stupid diatribe with 'trust me, they've done studies' ...then a kickass wink.